I have never been a fan of New Year’s resolutions.  Why should we wait until the calendar flips to change our lives?  A good idea in January would have been an even better idea last October, especially if that idea was weight loss, the most popular New Year’s resolution.  Just think about how many holiday calories would not be firmly affixed to your hind parts if you had resolved just three months earlier.  However, I do have one resolution that, if adopted by even a fraction of us, would change the world.

I resolve to be the bigger person.  This is perhaps the hardest resolution to keep because we see too few examples of it in practice.  You will get no help on this resolution from your political leadership.  Your political leadership, perhaps for your entire adult life, has demonstrated through its actions that it feels justified to put self above the greater good.  The organized chaos that is the U.S. presidential election race has already begun to reinforce that point.  The verbal bricks are flying in all directions and probably will until November.  And if this election is like all others in our lifetimes, it will be conducted with no apparent recognition that all involved, candidates and supporters, are supposed to be on the same team.  All involved are supposed to have the same interest, that which is best for the United States of America.  Yet, we will most likely see our future leaders behave as our past ones have by resolving to be the bigger person…tomorrow.

I resolve to be the bigger person. Gil Scott Heron once said “the revolution will not be televised.”  Television will not be promoting a “bigger person” revolution during this year’s sweeps either.  In fact, if you watch network television, you have not been seeing most of your favorite shows because network execs and writers are fighting over who deserves a bigger share of the profits.  Too much of the programming you do see panders to our tendency to derive pleasure from the pain of others.  We are becoming an insatiable group of Mock-arazzi.  One needs look no further than the media coverage of pop star Britney Spears to see how congested the low road has become.  No matter the media outlet, Nightly News to Entertainment Tonight, you can witness the exploitation of this sad story for perverse pleasure and profit.  Our insatiable appetite for witnessing the ruin of this young woman has prevented us from viewing her as a child who needs help.  It has prevented us from viewing her parents with any charity either.  In our kneejerk reaction to blame Britney’s parents for her behavior, we forget that there comes a point in every child’s life at which they become willful adults that not even Heathcliff Huxtable could whip into shape.  We contribute to the madness by refusing to turn away from such stories, and thus creating the market for more such stories.

I resolve to be the bigger person.  This is a hard one, because it is so satisfying to put someone in his or her place.  It is so satisfying to demonstrate our superior reasoning, our unparalleled oratory skills for the purpose of laying the hammer, especially when we feel our target truly deserves to feel the hammer, especially when that person is someone close to us.  It is so tempting to “take the bait,” even when you know the dire consequences.  That is the nature of bait.  It’s so enticing that you forget there is a trap on the other end.  It’s so easy to forget that most such arguments are battles in which are no winners.  One side may temporarily defeat the other.  A meaningless battle may be won, but with each battle waged, the real war becomes more and more unwinnable.  The real war is making those around you better through their association with you and making the world a better place through your own good works.

I resolve to be the bigger person.  Gordon Gekko, played by Michael Douglas in the movie Wall Street, once said, “Greed is good.”  Perhaps, but so is collaboration.  We can all go further as a collective than as a collection of individuals.  “Greed is good.”   Perhaps, but so is compassion.  Always remember that everyone we mock is someone’s brother, sister, husband, wife, father, or mother.  In this YouTube world, your most embarrassing moment in life could also be a click away from an international viewing audience.  “Greed is good.”   Perhaps, but so is forgiveness.  The satisfaction of winning an intramural battle with someone you love is fleeting, but the damage of the battle itself could last forever.   

It will be the “bigger people” that lead us to a better world.  The biggest of people know that the best battles are the ones avoided.  The biggest of people are the ones who come armed with a loaded gun, the strength to pull the trigger and the aim to make the shot deadly and still choose to keep their guns holstered.

I resolve to be the bigger person.